Don's Top 10 Reasons
As told to us, unprompted, over the fence. Several times.
- "It's quiet." So quiet Don has to tell you about it out loud, constantly.
- It can go 0–60 faster than Don can say "have I told you about my Rivian?" (He has.)
- It has a gear tunnel. Don keeps his feelings in there. Also a folding chair.
- He can camp in it. He hasn't. But he could, and that's what matters.
- It looks like it's smiling at you. Don smiles back. Every morning. For a while.
- It's "basically a spaceship." Don has never been in a spaceship.
- It's electric, so the only thing running on fumes is the conversation.
- He gets software updates. He reads every single changelog. Aloud.
- It has a built-in flashlight. Don has used it to look at the Rivian. At night.
- Because, and we quote: "Are you frakin' kidding me? It's a RIVIAN."
Ask Don About His Rivian
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Neighborhood Reviews
Verified testimonials from the people (and objects) who know Don best.
"He parks it so it faces the house. He says it 'likes to see where it lives.' I am a garden gnome and even I think that's a lot."
"Don has started reading his mail to the truck. I'm getting jealous. I've held his mail for twelve years."
"Took me on one ride. Very smooth. Lost a star because he made me listen to a podcast about battery chemistry."
"I used to be the most charged-up thing in Don's life. Now I'm just an outlet. Literally."
Frequently Asked Questions
Mostly asked by Don, to himself, in the driveway.
Is Don okay?
Don has never been better. Don has a Rivian.
Will Don ever stop talking about it?
Our scientists ran the numbers. The numbers also turned out to be about the Rivian.
Can I borrow it?
Don laughed for eleven minutes and then went inside. We'll take that as a no.
Has Don considered other trucks?
Are you frakin' kidding me?
Who made this website?
A concerned (and highly amused) neighbor. Hi Don. 👋
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"I solemnly swear to nod politely whenever Don mentions range, torque, or 'the gear tunnel.'"
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